May 9, 2021
Today was a beautiful day. Cory got Macy up this morning, he brought her in for some love and snuggles and then took her downstairs to play while he made a hot breakfast and allowed me to sleep in a bit more. It was so wonderful. When I got up, I made my way downstairs to find a happy girl in her highchair preparing to eat and a plate full of hot pancakes waiting for me.
Cory also had a special gift basket sitting on the table for me. It was clear to me that he had spent time looking into all the ways to make me comfortable during my chemotherapy and packed a bunch of items into a basket just for me - two new books, some candles, bath bombs, essential oils and a diffuser, and so much more. It was so incredibly thoughtful, but what’s more - he spent time writing down the kindest message full of love and encouragement in a card that I know I will treasure forever. I am so blessed to be his wife and so incredibly thankful to be Macy's momma. They are what will carry me through this diagnosis to remission. I vow to fight like hell to be here with them always and forever.
My parents, sisters and their families came over in the afternoon and brought some barbecue for lunch. We laughed, we ate, we cherished our time together. I asked for photos with the moms and kids - looking to capture photographic evidence of every good moment where I still look and feel like “me” leading up to treatment and whatever comes next.
There’s so much unknown lying ahead - I don’t know when I’ll start my treatment, or how my body will react to it. I don’t know how I’ll look when all my hair falls out (though I’m sure I’ll hate it no matter what). I don’t really know when this will all (God-willing) be behind me.
But what I do know is that I am so thankful to be Macy’s mom. I’m so thankful to have the world’s greatest mom and mother-in-law. I’m so thankful to have incredible sisters, and sisters-in-law. I'm thankful for all the amazing men in my life; my husband, my dad, my father-in-law, my brother and brothers-in-law. I know with certainty that in this life, I have everything I need. My God is with me. He provides. He continues to make a way. I am in what I would consider to be the darkest point of my life and yet everywhere I turn I see light. I see silver linings, little God-winks, the path that He is walking for me and saying, “Just follow where I lead, step where I step, one foot in front of the other, I have given you all you need.” I’m holding on to that today.
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