May 5, 2021
I woke up ready to learn more about my situation. The morning started with a call with my friend and former small group leader, Laura - hearing from her encouraged me and brought a peace that I needed while I sat in the parking lot outside of the Cancer Center. When we hung up, it was time - Cory and I headed in through the sliding doors and into the reception area.
We filled out paperwork, met with my breast health navigator, Lisa - she’s wonderful. It’s clear that she has a servant heart and is a very compassionate person. I feel very comfortable looking to her to help me get through all of this.
Then I met with medical oncologist, Dr. Migas. He was very personable. We talked through… everything. It was a very long conversation. It was clear that he was in no hurry, and despite our designated meeting time, he was going to take as much time as needed to make sure I felt comfortable and understood everything as completely as possible.
Hitting on the high points from the conversation:
Diagnosis: Stage 2 triple negative breast cancer (based on tumor size, location, hormone receptors)
Treat 1st with 2 rounds of chemo (AC-T) - treatments would be every other week for 4 weeks each, adding up to 16 weeks total (8 weeks of treatment, 8 weeks in between each treatment) - this is to tackle any potential spread within my body and reduce the risk for recurrence.
Genetic testing determines what we will do related to surgery
BRCA1/BRCA2 gene mutation present = automatic double mastectomy and reconstruction surgery
If not present (please, God) then we will work with a surgeon for a lumpectomy
Then follow surgery with 21 consecutive (weekdays) of radiation therapy to the R. Breast
I’m still not 100% clear about the “why” behind radiation after chemo and surgery have supposedly (hopefully) gotten rid of all the cancer, except for it to maybe be a triple check that it’s all gone? Will need to ask some questions to learn more.
Will I be able to keep my hair?
Most likely not. This chemo regimen is aggressive and almost always leads to hair loss. I’m having a really hard time accepting this. I have always been pretty attached to my hair. It’s part of my identity. I was literally voted "Best Hair" in High School (not like that matters now. Just further driving home that point for everyone). And this just feels like the last piece of me is being stripped away, after everything else. It’s also that outward expression for all the world to see what my struggle is, what I’m facing. The world will know that I have cancer. I’ll have years of photos where I have no hair, or my hair is re-growing in a really horrible way. I’ll have to wear headcovers, wigs (which will be hot, itchy and uncomfortable), not to mention extremely expensive - for a good quality one. Macy might be scared of mommy’s new “look,” I won’t be able to feel any kind of “beautiful” when I look in the mirror, for a long time. I just keep thinking of more and more reasons why I’m dreading this part of everything. This sucks so f*cking bad.
Will we be able to have children after this?
Hopefully, yes. Dr. Migas said since I’m under 35, I should have a decent chance at having children in the future, and even naturally if my body can heal well. But with that in mind he also said, if there’s time, we could consider fertility preservation if we’d like and can move quickly. Lisa set up a consult call with a fertility specialist tomorrow.
After meeting with Dr. Migas we met with Dr. Woodhouse, my radiation oncologist. She seemed nice. We talked through my treatment plan from Dr. Migas and the prognosis and she explained that radiation would be the final step in my process, but didn’t really bring it home for me as to why. I was also pretty wiped after my marathon discussion with Dr. Migas and was just ready to get the heck out of there so I was honestly probably a bit disconnected for our discussion. Thankfully we have some time before her role would come into play. I’ll revisit the topic of radiation with them a little later. For now, we focus on fertility preservation and then chemotherapy.
When Cory and I got home, I think we both felt encouraged, it seemed like we finally had a plan at least, a timeline (sort of) and a clear list of next steps. We also had never felt so exhausted and overwhelmed in our lives.
That day full of meetings felt like a lifetime, and we were barely getting started.
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